One of the days~

haiz..tdy oe of the days that i felt so xian abt..i reali wan to do a good job for stand chart collation but the uncertainties reali drained me..

thank God for hui yee who was there to listened to me blappp qt a bit..gosh..haiz..credibity kind down..someth i hate the most..students were sup to be sponsor fully initially but now they hav to pay..$5/-

wat's unsure was they may and may not need pay for medical check upn insurance..if more payment from them, nos may drop but tt's not the point..it's sch's credibility in event org will drop..my reputation as teacher may drop too..xian!..how to ask my dragon boat pp for participation in future? gosh..wish i can be in meeting to check ths out..

think i realise sth more prominent abt myself..when i work, i will wan to do ths well and i need do it fast b4 my momentum slows..think this is my potential weakness as well coz consistency is sth tt i hav difficulty with i think..potential discouragement and morale low comes pretty easy too..tt's y i lik wan to vent my frus but cant..thou did blap a bit to buddy but kinda not enuf..i need hrs of blapping..haiz..quality time person mah..

Thank God for Fhirhad..felt bit encouraged by him while he was tombang-ing me to my bus stop..out of nowhere he popped a statement saying i was doing well..man..i was lik????..wat did i do man..he said i'm taking up qt bit of responsibilities and my energy lvl still there..act in my heart i was lik, my energy lvl had gone lower than b4, felt xian..but come to think abt it, perhaps it's God's way of timely encouragement to me..kinda felt so long since i felt encouraged..hmmmm..

anyway, did encourage myself a bit while i was running..man..adhoc decision to run..act wanna go hm den run but was thinking i need compiled the namelist fr Mani so decided go run 1st den back to office for work..

act shoes for running need to change lo..think my ascis need to retire lo..hmmmm..if not for the insole think the cushioning support could hav been worst..

anyhow run..don noe distance as usual..ran 1:01:15..not very spectacular but at least i tried to break through 1 hr..i did..well done daphne..

think my new prayer request is "God help me to love and accept myself by Your Grace, help me to love You by your Grace."

Grace= God's gift of supernatural ability to do sth that i cant do on my own strength..

yupz..loving myself, loving God is sth i wish i can use my own ability to, but i recognise i cant..I need His Grace to help me to love..

man..my thots are flying all over now..

any way, ran on last wed,25th July 07

20 rounds-435m X 20 =8.7km..

thurs rest..farewell lunch..man..carbo and fats load,went samy's curry..

ran on 27th Jul with pammy at ECP..

slow pace but realise she picked up speed at our return..haha..we both thot we were running faster and hence we followed "each other's pace"..haha..i thot she was running faster while she thot that of me too..ha..pengz..anyway last 200m i think we jack up our speed, i was faster coz think her calves din allow her to overtak me..

time taken for that route..56'56..mayb can buy 4D..ha..pretty good run..funny i would say..speeding coz we thot we were following each oth's pace..

sat rest-NDP

sun, ministry time..got prayed for..1st response to altar call..gosh tt sis who prayed for me was powerful..everyth tt she prayed was a hit on..she kept praying that my mind belongs to God, my mind belongs to God..my past has no effects on me..

so true the ths she prayed..indeed anointed by the Spirit of God..coz that week had 1 night that i struggled so much with my thots..my esteem..act had drama with alan too..if God did not help i would have sank so low emotionally and mentally..n put our relationship at stake..reali risky unnec stake..

2nd altar call..i cried so hard..cried so hard..no major drama lik manifest but cried very hard..

think need to keep myself clean now aft God had cleansed me..kinda became more conscious to pray now..esp tdy felt so low w stand chart matters..

God, enlarge my capacity..help me to hav good and right attitudes..think this is the growing period for me..act felt uncomfortable in many ways..who likes stretching period..God, stretch my capacity..enlarge my capacity..help!!! God, i need Your grace like neva b4..

daph Jiayou..as i expand, my prayer life needs to get stronger..as i enlarge, all the more i need God..i need to learnt to acknowledge God and depend on His Grace..

God You are good, keep me in thespirit of prayer i pray..