9th May-Privileged

today i met with joanne, Thank God i had a relatively good time with her..haha..at least i spoke out all my thoughts that i felt twds her..think i am such a person in that once i say out some things that i feel twds you means i'm ok..if i don say out..man, gotta watchout coz it's dangerous..

what tis entry is abt is:

when i was on my way back hme, den i dropped annie (from chec=> city harvest teachers' network ) a msg and told her that i will be able to meet her for a short while to discuss on some textbook formulation for a china proj..

initially when i returned her call, she asked if we can have a meeting tml..bcoz i m mtg brian and christine ma so i kinda told her i will msg her again to confirm..think there was a certain pride in me when i seem to "make the call" to meeting..well..i admit..i do have certain bit of pride..an area that i need to be very mindful of..believe wil be an area that God will break me too..

well..wat i wanna say is on the train back aft i msg annie..den sud got tis thot in my mind.."i think God has granted me the desires of my heart..why? i have always wanted to teach chinese since young..God has given me my desire of being a PE teacher and now i'm involved in this china project..it's like God giving me a combo desire grant where i can be both a PE teacher and "chinese" teacher (i mean to help out in the china proj is almost like me using my knowledge in chinese to help)..man..right then i felt so privilged..

it seems that God is giving me evrything that i want in my life..Pe teacher, "teaching" chinese/being useful in being able to serve God in that manner of reaching out to china..and giving me the kind of man that i always pray for..a runner, a strong man, the 5 Ps, king and general, a man after God's heart like King David, a Godly and God-fearing man..(well of coz he is still very much a "work" in progress)..but very good progress made since 28th April..

i pray..i pray for him..a man of strength and tenacity..a man after God's own heart..
i pray..i pray for myself.. a strong and loyal woman to God..a woman after God's heart..

so i went home and give God praise.."God, Thank You..i feel so privileged to be able to serve You in that manner..how can i be proud? how can i be proud? coz everything that i have, it comes from You.. Without You, i am nothing..Thank You God."

juz as i gave thanks to God, i fear..
i fear that i'll be like Job in the bible in that God is like giving me everything that i want now, what if one day all these things are taken away from me, how?

den anoth thought came to me..well..if that day comes, it would be a real good test for me..if my heart is with my possessions or my God?
coz if my heart is with God, why should i fear..no matter wat..i will still acknowledge that God is good despite all.."Father God, please protect me..let me be like Job, despite all the disasters that happen to him..God, he did not curse you..protect me that i will stand strong in You..protect me.."

let my attitude BE one that is poor in the spirit..blessed are the poor in spirit.

** > of Him & <>