Sunday, 22nd April--10km

O my goodness..it was a tough run man.. met up with alan and we walked big round again to ECP..haha..nice walk..warm up in a sense..

b4 we run, we compete in doing bridge..gosh..so irritating..i did not hold on longer if not i may not have lose to him..think i gave up coz psychologically was affected wen he said he did prac the night and did a 5 min..goodness..that certainly did shaken me a little thou i act tough..haiz..so regret..ego bruised..lesson learnt..neva be affect by ur opponent..believe in yourself..be fearless..

cool..we started the run..ha..i'm pretty happy coz i don feel as stress as last sun..i felt happy coz i was running my own pace, my own race..i like..i enjoy running for myself..i enjoy being focus and not mindful of other's expectations..i felt free..i like to be free..

as the distance gets longer..the mind gets even more challenged..let me recall my thots..when i was running..

i was telling myself i am running my own race.. i cant depend on anyone (thou nice to have alan to pace me in a sense)..i am running my own race, no one can run the race for me..

as i was running..haha..sun's song came into my mind so kinda music in mind running..ha..

thruout the run, i realised alan din wait for me as wat he did last sun..i think that was very good coz it will motivate me to keep chasing after him..i don wanna be too far behind him..so kinda he made me aware of my speed and pace..

when we made the turn at 5km..heee..think alan was pretty pleased coz he said i was doing at sub 50 pace..phew..kinda took a breath..slow down a little..man..think i got a little complacent..hmmm..not very good attitude..so kept running..started to struggled a little by then..there were times wen i feel lik stopping but cannot..kept running..man..feel high tide, would galdly like to use that as excuse to stop..but cannot..den i kept telling myself.. "i will not stop until the finishing line" i kept repeating that so many many times to keep myself going, keep running daph..sud rem sth i saw frm alan's blog..sth like "there is no finishing line, keep running"..yes..keep running daph..

man..reali struggling..kill me..ahhh..gotta psycho myself that i have mayb 3km more to go (feel that i ran a lot but think i got more dist 2cover man).. tough run..haven been running so hard..as i was running, felt bit low moarel coz when alan said i still can clock sud 60..my heart dropped a little..sud rem how i felt wen i saw my students ran and they stopped to walk and that increased their 2.4 timing which is a no good..man..thinking of that made me hasten a bit..abt last 600m..man.i reali wanna die..how come the bike shop still so far..good gracious i din have false hop that the nearer shops are the bike shop..if not i'll get even more low morale..man.. i reali want to die..my mental state is constantly challenged..ok..gonna ketchap with alan if i wan to go sub 60..i cant do sub 50, the least is to hit sub 60..if anyth more than 60..think my mind might get locked in that timing..so for my good..run faster daph..

Yes! finished le..ahhh..i need toilet..haha..super urgent that it wanted to come out le..goose bump all over i need toilet..haha.. man..the weather is hot man..moi face red again..hot man..hottttttttttttttt.....

man..wen alan told me it's 59min..i was like..haiz..ok..not that good..not too bad but could have been beta..but alan was reali nice and encouraging..he said that i probably ran a bit faster like 58mins plus (in my heart i was like, not much diff act, but thanks for the comfort thou..appreciate his encouragement)

think remembering it as 59min will make me wan run faster..coz like a black mark to me..hmmm..
ha.sud rem alan mentioned that he was smiling during the run coz he was quite pleased with my pace in the 1st leg (5km) i supposed..let me recall..he said that for the 1st 5 km, i was running ard ~5.15 per km..pretty not bad..2nd leg, slightly slower but think not too bad as well..ha..think it's reali nice to have his feedback and telling him my struggles while running and hearing his assurance makes the run not as low morale..but yeah..i will train for it man..

still rem wat my fren said in her blog..we don try to achieve sth coz it will not come..we TRAIN to achieve something..I will Train to achieve my goals..Jiayou dapH..5th May..Emerge 10km..God bless me..God, i miss You so much now..seem slong since i last spend time with ya..