Wed-Fri, 7th-9th Mar--Lesson: don judge

Wednesday--ha..i was very upset with Joanne coz i felt disappointed in the sense that why is she getting into unnec situations that she could have avoided..in the morn she msg me sth, den i replied her wo hesitation "don crap..wat do you mean you cant control..cut the bull"

Think the reason why i was so direct bcoz i rem jaz said that to me once wen i made a terrible mistake,very terrible mistake that hurted and angered her much coz she cares a lot for me. Think right than i could understand how jaz felt juz lik the way i felt for joanne that morn..*faint*

2nd reason why i was upset was coz we just went thru the cg msg on heart of passion last fri and now she's giving excuses..Cut the bull man.. i was so very upset..so very upset..on that night, i attended the CHC sharing for teachers interested to go china teach eng and on my way, i was talking to chris and told him my frus twds joanne..*pengz* i am reali judgemental to the max man..

After the mtg, i was on my way hm that she pop me a msg to apologise.. i asked her why apologise as she did nothing wrong to me.. den i rem i asked her a few qns like: " is cg of value to her? does she value the friendships in cg? does she feel that the cg care for her?
she asked me why i asked her and i gave her an unusual reply, i asked her to think abt why i ask her those qns, instead of my usual style of telling her why i ask her qns coz i reali need her to consider.

She replied that she will think abt it as she needed to study for test..so her reply came in on thurs..

Thursday--That afternoon wen she replied me, i couldn't qt understand her meaning lik treasure the friendships in cg but find it difficult to open to us, try to open us to the gals in cg..hmmm..i reali don understand and i reali formed certain perceptions based on the limited info i got.. i was once again juding based on my perceptions and yet i also reasoned that i need to know more from her b4 i draw conclusions.. i need to understand her conditions b4 i judged and get upset with her.. i need to understand her..but.. when? ..haha.. good question..

That night think i was waiting for bus den i took a book and read..my gosh.. i read upon this statement, "God does not need (or want) my help to judge pp..i am to love people in the way that God has forgiven me".. man.. felt like such a word in time of all my judgments towards her..I felt that God is so good.. in the past i would have felt discouraged by myself bcoz i failed to do the "right" thing..i judged.. but i felt that God is gracious bcoz i know in my heart that the reason why i took out the book and read that portion is bcoz God wants to correct me.. God wants to correct me bcoz He loves me, He wants me to grow.. i felt God is moulding me, like a potter to his clay, He is pressing unto certain part in my life..a gentle touch to change me for the better. So i prayed and i decided,i shall take action to change.. i msg joanne and asked to meet her b4 cg to chat, to understand her situation and not imagine wrongly of her..but i don trust myself too well..haha.. i called christine immediately aft joanne's postive reply, and asked if she can meet us at that time at raffles place.. i reali need her presence so i can remind myself that i am not to scold joanne like crazy instead i reali want to be like a friend to her, to listen and understand..man, i was reali anxious abt the mtg..ha.. i act prayed the night b4 that "God !!!! help me not to shoot her but to be patient just as you are patient with me."..i reali am nervous abt mtg her..even mintues b4 i met her on fri itself in sch, i prayed..gosh *sweat*

Friday--Amazingly, on bus 31 we met her classmate and took train 2gth, so like we had little time alone aft her fren left..den i shared w her a bit of wat i felt den..ha.. God answered my prayer.. christine act reached raffles earlier than i think..haha.. yeah.. felt so much relief that i am not alone..ha.. so the 3 of us met up and go to riverwalk and talk.. hmmm.. initially, atmosphere like weird coz i realise i'm talking too much again..ha.. den aft moments of silence, i pop a qn to us..."why not we share sth that we don noe abt each oth?"..ha.. man, i so Thank God that chris started sharing and somehow as we share, more pp came in.. yinxia, bel and as we talked on the topic of "do you find valuable friendship in cg?", i decided to open up my heart and shared my fears that i was reali anxious b4 mtg joanne.. i told them that i even prayed abt it..den cant rem wat we shared after that joanne seems to open up a little.. den wen we enter into the MPH b4 cg starts, i saw her sharing w bel and juz b4 cg starts, she confessed to me sth and said she had made a decision that she wants to change.. i just encourage her and say, lata, be prep in the heart and let God touch her..

*God is amazing in His "Just-In-Time" high ways..heee..