Wed, 21st March—Conscience dead again..God's saving grace

Wed, 21st March—Conscience dead again..

Think it’s scary to feel conscience dead.. I’m reali wondering, “God, how to survive?” How to be a christian in the midst of all these false data tabulation? I am cheating too.. consolidating data I know is false from the start..man..think this gonna be a long battle as long as I’m in ITE..gosh..i rem I read sth on mon,the Happiness book..it says Happiness is listening to your conscience..

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. (Josh Billings)

Feel that these 2 days I am like killing my conscience again and again.. prett dead now..was praying in the morn, God protect me..now I feel dead again..where’s my happiness..i am not..one of the times I don feel happy..conscience dead I suppose..

Kill me..dying..faint..haiz..so no life..do I feel like crying? Maybe not..cant feel anyth..man..think I need to tell someone soon b4 I die out totally..gosh.. how? Is there someone who cheat in the bible but God turn his life around? Who God? Anyone whom I can find some hope in? someone who can show me it is possible to keep my integrity in the midst of all falses and lies? Someone?
Now feel like crying a bit man.. so helpless..gosh..man..i miss my sec sch days where I am not troubled like this..this is real reality set man.. how strong is my faith now? I will not fall..i’m not so weak as I would believe.. I reali so need God’s saving hand to come and lift me up again.. so very much need God’s saving grace.. think as I am writing this.. I can feel God’s comfort in a sense.. think I am not alone facing all these.. I sud rem David in the bible, IN Psalms.. he been thru loads more man..despite all God still considers him to be a man after his heart.. God, I so very much need You.. think tears are in my eyes now.. God, I so need you now..so need Your saving hand.. snatch me out of this situation again.. God save me..You are a good God despite all..